DOWNLOAD MORE RAM
Your computer has been waiting for this moment since 2009.
*RAM not included. Neither is the download.
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ONE WEIRD TRICK
Local laptops hate this.
YOU ARE VISITOR #000042
That seems statistically significant.
ULTRA MEGA TURBO BOOSTER
9000%more speed* for your browsing experience
LIMITED TIME?
*According to a number we just invented.
MYSTERY BOX
What's inside? Neither do we know.
FREE INTERNET POINTS
+1,000,000MAKE YOUR DESKTOP LOOK LIKE THE FUTURE
Thirty seven toolbars. One incredible lifestyle.
HOT PIZZA FACTS
Number 6 will surprise absolutely nobody.
SINGLE BROWSER TABS IN YOUR AREA
They are open right now.
YOUR PC MAY BE FINE
Scan it anyway for dramatic effect.
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THIS CAT KNOWS SEO
Search engines are baffled.
BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!! you have scrolled into the premium advertising district
BEHOLD THE POTATO OF POWER
Experts called it “a potato.”
BADGER? MUSHROOM?
The internet remembers.
DANCING BABY
Born to buffer.
IQ TEST 2
The first one was too hard.
HOT DEAL ALERT
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ALIENS LOVE THIS SOCK
One sock. Many possibilities.
SECRET COMPUTER SETTINGS
Turn your screen brightness to “legendary.”
THIS AD IS LOOKING AT YOU
Awkward.
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THE COUNTDOWN IS ON
00:59to the next completely arbitrary minute
MEET A DUCK
Everyone's talking about it.
PREMIUM WIFI VIBES
Feel more connected to your router.
INFLUENCER DUST
Sprinkle on any photograph.
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Our phone lines have never been busier, because they do not exist.
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It's a state of mind.
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Your browser is already doing this.
DINO INSURANCE
For disasters from a different era.
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This message is also an ad.
All illustrated offers on this page are parody ads. No purchase links, tracking, or real offers are active yet.
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YOUR PC MAY BE FINE
Scan it anyway for dramatic effect.
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SINGLE BROWSER TABS IN YOUR AREA
They are open right now.
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BADGER? MUSHROOM?
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DANCING BABY
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